Today, I have to deliver a wedding speech. I also have a cold. That would be bad enough, but ever since I was a kid, if I cough or sneeze, I also fart. FML [...]
Fri, Aug 17, 2018, Continue reading at the source
It's like these stories happen to make Fmylife.com a wonderful, wonderful place. [...]
Fri, Aug 17, 2018, Continue reading at the source
Today, I discovered that my little brother sold my PS2, 3 and 4 along with all of my games in exchange for credits to use in Fortnite. I've had some of that stuff since before he was born. FML [...]
Fri, Aug 17, 2018, Continue reading at the source
Today, I called my boyfriend and a woman answered. Turns out, she's also his girlfriend. She broke up with me on his behalf. FML [...]
Fri, Aug 17, 2018, Continue reading at the source
Today, a woman shouted at me to give up my disabled seat on the bus because she wanted to sit down. She wasn't physically disabled, wasn't nearly old enough to need it, and the bus was half empty anyway. I guess my prosthetic leg doesn't entitle me to a priority seat. FML [...]
Fri, Aug 17, 2018, Continue reading at the source
Today, my roommate found a solution to his awful body odor: bathing in vinegar. Now instead of smelling like a middle school locker room, the house smells like a chemical plant. I'm not sure which is worse. FML [...]
Fri, Aug 17, 2018, Continue reading at the source
Today, my boyfriend and I were looking up sexy clothes for me to wear while role-playing. I saw something I liked and asked him if we should get it. When he saw the model wearing it in the picture, he asked "Does it come with the girl?" FML [...]
Thu, Aug 16, 2018, Continue reading at the source
Today, I went on a date. We met in the parking lot of a restaurant. As I approached his car he took one look at me, said "Nope", and drove off. FML [...]
Thu, Aug 16, 2018, Continue reading at the source
Watch your manners, parrot. [...]
Thu, Aug 16, 2018, Continue reading at the source
Today, I had a CT scan done after hitting my head, for fear of a concussion. Good news: no concussion. Bad news: the tumor they "accidentally" found. FML [...]
Thu, Aug 16, 2018, Continue reading at the source