Another week, another top comment list. See if you made the cut! [...]
Sat, Nov 10, 2018, Continue reading at the source
Today, I woke up next to my roommate staring in horror. She said I was singing and farting in my sleep. Loudly. FML [...]
Sat, Nov 10, 2018, Continue reading at the source
Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse's office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML [...]
Sat, Nov 10, 2018, Continue reading at the source
Today, my sister got fired and I got promoted to her job, got a nice payrise for it. My relationship with my sister will never be the same again. FML [...]
Sat, Nov 10, 2018, Continue reading at the source
Today, I saw my boyfriend coming up the walkway to our home. When I opened the door to greet him with a huge smile on my face, he scowled at me and angrily said, "I don't know why you have to do that!" Smile gone. FML [...]
Sat, Nov 10, 2018, Continue reading at the source
Today, in bed, my wife took her vibrator and started masturbating. Feeling excited, I went down to help her. She told me to knock it off 'cause she couldn't focus. FML [...]
Fri, Nov 09, 2018, Continue reading at the source
Today, my parents told me that they think I've gone off the deep end. I don't drink or take drugs. What did I do? I got McDonald's a couple times after school. FML [...]
Fri, Nov 09, 2018, Continue reading at the source
They try so hard! [...]
Fri, Nov 09, 2018, Continue reading at the source
He hopes it will make his life (and his Tinder results) much better. [...]
Fri, Nov 09, 2018, Continue reading at the source
Today, I received an email from a shipping company telling me they had dropped off a package of expensive electronics at the front door. Too bad someone stole it before I made it to the door. FML [...]
Fri, Nov 09, 2018, Continue reading at the source