Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. She asked me what year I was born in, then brutally rejected me. Apparently it's because my name wasn't in the top 20 baby names for my birth year. FML [...]
Sat, Aug 18, 2018, Continue reading at the source
Today, I'm facing malpractice charges for neglecting a patient and failing to treat an infection. The patient had severe maggot-infested gangrene in his foot with exposed metatarsals, but refused amputation and all treatment. The judge is moving forward with the charges. FML [...]
Sat, Aug 18, 2018, Continue reading at the source
Today, out of the 35 people invited, only one person showed up to my bridal shower. It was my grandma. FML [...]
Sat, Aug 18, 2018, Continue reading at the source
You came, you wrote, you conquered. Thanks for making our job here at FML a little bit funnier with your hilarious comments. You know we've got to take the time to celebrate you! So here they are, the 10 funniest comments of the week. Enjoy! [...]
Sat, Aug 18, 2018, Continue reading at the source
Today, I told my mom that my wife and I got her a birthday present, but she won't be getting it until April. That instantly pissed her off, cussing us out calling us cheap worthless selfish bastards. I was about to surprise her that she's finally going to be a grandma. FML [...]
Sat, Aug 18, 2018, Continue reading at the source
Today, my girlfriend's grandparents walked in on us getting intimate. She immediately ran to the bathroom, leaving me alone with them. They only speak Spanish, which is not my first language. We discussed the movie she and I were "watching", all while I was naked under the sheets. FML [...]
Sat, Aug 18, 2018, Continue reading at the source
Today, I had sex with a guy I'd had a crush on for a long time. When I asked if he was having trouble putting it in, he answered that he was fully in. FML [...]
Fri, Aug 17, 2018, Continue reading at the source
Today, I thought I was all alone in the class, so I lifted up my leg and ripped a huge fart. One of my students was still in there. He told everybody. FML [...]
Fri, Aug 17, 2018, Continue reading at the source
FMyLife.com isn't the only place people share their woes. Here are our favorite #FML Tweets from this week! [...]
Fri, Aug 17, 2018, Continue reading at the source
Today, I thought it would be fun to tint my hair. An hour later, I resemble a blueberry and it looks like a Smurf exploded in my bathroom. FML [...]
Fri, Aug 17, 2018, Continue reading at the source