Today, I was uninvited from every family event henceforth, because I finally had it and told my sister that I can't stand to be around her horribly misbehaved kids. They have screaming meltdown tantrums, throw and break things, start fights and steal. How am I the bad guy? FML [...]
Mon, Jun 24, 2019, Continue reading at the source
Today, I'm finally dating the girl I've been fawning over for years. So what do I do? I accidentally call her by her sister's name during a conversation, which might seem like a small mistake, except I used to sleep with her sister and she's been having a hard time getting over it. FML [...]
Mon, Jun 24, 2019, Continue reading at the source
Today, I needed to get blood drawn. Apparently, my veins are too thin and no blood would flow into the tube. I'm afraid of needles, and was just poked with some unsuccessfully, and I have to go back next week to try again. FML [...]
Mon, Jun 24, 2019, Continue reading at the source
Today, my high point was still being able to recite all 151 generation one Pokémon in order, from memory. I need a life. FML [...]
Mon, Jun 24, 2019, Continue reading at the source
Today, I saw the cutest baby watching a show with my Dad. After commenting how cute she was, my Dad goes on to say, "Yeah, most babies are cute. Except you, you looked like a lizard." FML [...]
Sun, Jun 23, 2019, Continue reading at the source
Today, I was talking to a colleague at a meeting, and I told him about my promotion and how the position was created specifically for me. I forgot that the guy works in HR, and he started questioning me about how the division was able to create the position, and said that he will need to look at it. FML [...]
Sun, Jun 23, 2019, Continue reading at the source
Today, after I got pregnant 22 years ago and my husband became way too overprotective to the point where he became a right pain in the ass, I'm now accidentally pregnant again. It turns out my now 22-year-old son is almost as bad as his dad was. Now I've got two of the sods to deal with. FML [...]
Sun, Jun 23, 2019, Continue reading at the source
Today, as I have been the past week, I've was sent to fix my coworker's fuck-ups in his new area, and help him out as I know it. I then needed help in his old area, and got told to suck it up and figure it out. I've been doing this a year, he's been doing it for 5 years FML [...]
Sun, Jun 23, 2019, Continue reading at the source
Today, I was on my way to work. Out of nowhere, my period started. Due to allergies, I had uncontrollable sneezes. Now, I have blood all over my pants. FML [...]
Sun, Jun 23, 2019, Continue reading at the source
Today, my date took nearly 10 minutes to get an erection, had to be shown where the entrance to my vagina was, since he kept missing it and poking me in the thigh, he orgasmed after only 3 thrusts, fell asleep straight away, then an hour later had the nerve to ask if I'd had fun too. FML [...]
Sun, Jun 23, 2019, Continue reading at the source