555 points, 48 comments. [...]
Sun, Mar 24, 2019, Continue reading at the source
Tags: Dog, Cattle624 points, 19 comments. [...]
Sun, Mar 24, 2019, Continue reading at the source
Tags: 2011 Tōhoku earthquake and tsunami478 points, 38 comments. [...]
Sun, Mar 24, 2019, Continue reading at the source
Tags: matrix810 points, 19 comments. [...]
Sun, Mar 24, 2019, Continue reading at the source
Today, I tried to turn in a final exam online. When I went to check if it had been submitted Blackboard told me it did. My grade told a different story. FML [...]
Sun, Mar 24, 2019, Continue reading at the source
Today I was going to bed with my wife and she was giving all the signs that she wanted to get it on. I rolled to her side of the bed and made my move. She rolled the other way, grabbed her phone, and played on Instagram. P.S. it was my birthday. FML [...]
Sun, Mar 24, 2019, Continue reading at the source
Today found out I need to have emergency surgery which is extremely convenient considering I'm literally supposed to be moving out of state in 2 days and my whole house is completely packed. FML [...]
Sun, Mar 24, 2019, Continue reading at the source
Today I went to the bank to get a jar of coins exchanged for cash via fancy counter machine. After 30 minutes I was handed a bag of rolling sleeves and was told to do it myself. Good news, I have a lot more money than I thought. Bad news, I have A LOT more coins than I thought. FML [...]
Sun, Mar 24, 2019, Continue reading at the source
Today I hooked up with a girl. The condom fell off when I pulled out. When the girl left I could not find it. I saw my roomate cat with it so I chased him and he escaped. My roomate now wants to kill me. She found the condom on her bed and does not believe me. I might have to move out. FML [...]
Sat, Mar 23, 2019, Continue reading at the source
Today I brought home a hot girl in her 20's ( I am 41 ). After we had sex she asked for my age and when I told her, she started to giggle and told me I am older than her parents. Now I feel old and dirty. FML [...]
Sat, Mar 23, 2019, Continue reading at the source