Tags: Not my job618 points, 28 comments. [...]
Mon, Nov 12, 2018, Continue reading at the source
538 points, 37 comments. [...]
Mon, Nov 12, 2018, Continue reading at the source
956 points, 87 comments. [...]
Mon, Nov 12, 2018, Continue reading at the source
759 points, 32 comments. [...]
Mon, Nov 12, 2018, Continue reading at the source
Today, I bought a new $10,000 car since my old one broke down. Today, I also found out the old one wasn't starting because i never had it in park. FML [...]
Mon, Nov 12, 2018, Continue reading at the source
Today, my nana turned up at my flat for a visit, barged in without knocking, and found me having sex with both of my girlfriends. The vicious religious lecture that followed would have stripped the tramp stamp off a whore. She then rampaged through our bedroom and binned all our sex toys. FML [...]
Mon, Nov 12, 2018, Continue reading at the source
Today, my boyfriend started tickling me relentlessly. I am extremely ticklish and accidentally kicked him in the shin whilst squirming. He's now trying to get me arrested for assault. FML [...]
Mon, Nov 12, 2018, Continue reading at the source
Today, while I was fitting a new fuse box, a giant spider tried to eat my fingers. As I pulled away, I touched the exposed wires. I woke up flat on my back to the customer slapping my face, burnt fingers, and bruises everywhere. I had also peed and shit myself. FML [...]
Mon, Nov 12, 2018, Continue reading at the source
Today, I realized how bad my grey hair problem has gotten as I noticed I had grey pubes. I'm only 23. FML [...]
Sun, Nov 11, 2018, Continue reading at the source